Saturday, February 16, 2013

actions love languages and what works

Oh what a night,

Readers may recall that I had felt a bit torn two ways on the night of Valentines day.

Well in bed last night a few topics discussed and a few activites that were really quite exciting.

The first was to do with pain and y wife said she was uncomfortable with the idea of inflicting pain on me.  I pointed out that in the book she read recently that the submissive was aroused by pain.  So I think that as we talked she got more OK with the idea that pain is not all bad.

We discussed her love languages
Acts of service and Words of affirmation.
She pointed out that negative words even said in jest cut deep and when I get moody & grumpy and list out her failings then that cuts deep.  I agree with that.  She teaches and recently she did something that anoyed the cleaner and the cleaner spoke to her about it.  The cleaner also told the headmaster.  Now everyone with perhaps the exception of the cleaner knew whatever it was was trivial and that the cleaner was making a big deal out of nothing.  Anyway the headmaster had passed my wife in the corridor and had said and I believe jokingly "I hear you are in trouble with the cleaner".  I think my wife's initial reaction was almost zapping back to her as a school girl and here is the head master telling he she is in trouble.  Then of course her mature sensibiliyty kicked in.  The point being that one of her love languages being words of encouragement meant that her instinctive reaction is based on the words said.  So when I make a negative joke then her first reaction is negative.  So I need to keep those sort of smart ass jokes to my self and only say positive things.

We lay in bed and she got physical with me.  She dug her fingernails into my penis and that of course was painful but I liked it.  It turned me on.  Both the pain and it being my wife being physical with me.  Then she pinched my nipples.

We discussed that in the book "diary of a submissive" the dominant fellow makes the girl put pairs of chopsticks on her breasts.  I said we could try clothes pegs.  Then I said "go and get them"  Yes I know topping from the bottom.  So she got up and went and got some wooden ones and plastic ones and she put a wood one and a plastic one on and asked which was better.  That was fun. 

Then we had a very interesting discussion.  In the book "diary of a submissive" he the dom does all the work.

My wife said that she really appreciated tuesday night when I set up candles, massaged her with oil and let her go to sleep.

Now that seems to be a part of the WLM dynamic and that is that it is the sub male husband who has to do the detail of the work.  And thats ok but good to recognise.

We went to sleep.

In the morning some more close physical activity with her getting me to rub her.  I so wanted to cum.  I was so turned on.  I was taknful later that she had said that she did not want me inside her because she did not want to risk me cumming.  She said maybe sunday.

We discussed giving me the cane but she said she wanted to do that at night so that I had time to get over it.  Pity. smile.

So in conclusing
great physical activity.
She got to orgasm
I experienced some fun being submissive and some pain.
We both I think enjoyed it.


  1. im really enjoying your blog! Thanks for writing.

  2. Thank you zoe. Your acknowledgement is encouraging and I am glad you are enjoying it.

  3. It was great timing to see this blog post--my wife and I were just discussing love languages this past weekend in the context of our Female-led marriage.

    It occurred to me that love languages is a great way to talk about the unique dynamic between us in vanilla terms. Your post is a great example.