Then I got on the net for a hit of dopamine. Naughty me.
I went looking for information on abstinance and chastity in married couples.
It would appear that there are people who do this in a serious as in non kinky fashion. Some of these people come from a catholic persuasion.
Here are a couple of interesting links:
"How do help our husbands endure periods of abstnance"
and a wife wondering if her husband having a wet dream "resets the clock". I gather they go for a period of abstinance
There seem to be some very dominant women in that formum intent on "fixing" their "Weak" or "Broken" husbands. I note mention of "LDS" in one post but I thought LDS were very male dominated but this form seems very female driven. Odd.
and here is another more flr related
The bizzare thing is that some of that "help" from my wife might be just what I need.
When my wife came home I confessed I had gone looking for stuff about abstinance in marriage. One key post that I cant refind basically had a couple of key dot points that I think apply to my wife and I.
- If the husband knows then then there will be no orgasm then he does not get moody when it does not happen.
- She no longer feels the pressure to 'perform'. (My wife has said that she sometimes has that feeling).
- Wet dreams are the body's natural way to obtain release.
- With sexual intercourse off the agenda, the husband and wife have to turn to other intimate activities to keep the relationship special. Kissing, touching including running hands all over the others body (but not groping), hugging, sitting together, going to romatic places together (My wife would like that one). I took from this that husband and wife had to make an extra special effort to look after each others needs and to validate each other. It sounded a little like rekindling the behaviours that lovers do when they can't have sex.
- Husband has to do physical tasks and exercise to take his mind off the pressure.
- Wife has to acknowledge the effort the husband is putting in.
- Wife has to be strong and not give in.
- Wife has to tell him when to get out of bed and do one of those cool off distracting activities.
- Husband not to grind against the wife or the mattress.
- There was some discussion with some people saying the wife should dress frumpy to quieten the husbands desire (men are visual) and others who said that the women should dress sexually as it makes the husband feel validated when his wife dresses to please him. (that's me)
- One person mentioned relacing the physical reward of an orgasm with another physical act and that she and her husband had experimented and found that physical pain helped him feel loved and validated. She said she would dig her fingernails into his erect penis or grip his nipples and squeeze as hard as she could. (Wow that would be wonderful for me)
So I am thinking I may send some of this information to my wife.
We did discuss a bit last night and she said "she just wants me to be happy".
Well thats nice but having release just makes me feel weak but if I don't get release I do acknowledge I get grumpy and so I think she feels go for the release thing.