Sunday, February 24, 2013

No wanking. memories in the corners of my mind...

I posted a response to

Thought it was worthy of its own post on my blog

When I was a lad.  You know 16, 17 and ravaged with hormones but interestingly struggling to resist masturbating.  I would latch on to comments to give myself strength. For example a sporting coach made what was probably an off the cuff comment that he wanted no wanking before the match because we should save all our energy for the weekend game.   Living in a school boarding house which had very little privacy actually helped as there was the constant fear of being caught.  But on top of all this I discovered that if I wore these really cheap nylon undies that if I rubbed myself then it would abrade my penis and make it red raw and so stop my from doing this.  Sort of like you boy and his 'damaged' dick.  I good way to cure someone of that self indulgent activity.

 I was able to go a whole term of 13 weeks or so without masturbating.  Wet dreams were common and a nusance in themselves as they tended to result in cum spurting right up my chest and making my pyjama top sticky.

In the holidays though, without the structure and fear of getting caught I would wank away.  But even though the thrill of orgasm was great there was the feeling of weakness that came soon after.  I actually used to look forward to the structure of the boarding house as it seemed that only within that structure could I have the feeling of success that accompanied resisting as opposed to the feeling of weakness or powerless ness that I felt at home.

The other thing that was a feature of the boarding house that helped me control myself was the fear of being labelled a 'wanker'.  My gut feeling is that those at the top of the social ladder could do what they liked.  But for those of us in the middle, the fear of sliding to the bottom was great motivator.  I valued being included from time to time in "in group" parties, illicit activities and so on.  'wankers' on the other hand were the lowest of the low. 


  1. I know what that is like. We had the same thing going on in school. Kids who were suspected of masturbatig were laughed at and called names. And that reputation followed them around. I masturbated often, about 3 times a day beginning when I was 11, sometimes 4 times. I concealed my behavior with great care. That social pressure carried in my head to adulthood. My wife however is very open with her sexuality, and doesn't mind talking about her masturbation or mine, in public. I'm very embarrassed about it, but I say nothing because I want to overcome the humiliation.