It was helpful for me to talk about my relationship issues. He did say at one stage that my wife never talks about anything deep. He gave an example of when there was a bible study group that he and my wife were at a few years ago.
For the uninitiated, this is kind of like a book club. Usually get together and read some passage from the bible and read a few commentaries by experts and discuss it. Historical perspective, cultural differences between when it was written and today and what it might mean for us individually or as a societal group.
Anyway, his comment was that my wife would only contribute superficially with the "Sunday school" answer. By that I mean, the stock answer or 'idealised' answer. If in doubt the answer is "Jesus". This way she did not have to take any personal risk. No sharing of feelings and risk of criticism.
Anyway so some plus and enough minus to have to look for an alternative approach.
Of course there is the negative that an old man wearing a nappy and wetting the bed is pretty unattractive.
There is another advantage of the nappy is that it means my penis is encased in the nappy and therefore not able to be stroked. This helps with the abstinence in a mental way because it cant be stroked then it is not wanting to be stroked.
Noon Update - Was musing that I have now not had release for about a week. In moments of connectedness, my wife has mentioned that this will be a 4 week abstinence. So far today, I have felt the tense shoulder feeling that I have felt before when going through abstinence. I have had some ache in my balls that has come and gone. But no hard on errections. Normally reading blogs and so on or even thinking about abstinence makes me turned on.