I was reading a stimulating posting on intimacy here
I'm going to quote his quote
“Our greatest emotional need is for intimacy. Beyond the primary needs for food, water, sleep, and air to breathe, intimacy is the greatest need of the human person.
I feel, I think .... betrayed. I feel that by sharing my kink with my wife that I have pushed her away. Reduced intimacy. What I really crave I have lost. Possibly the more I crave it the more desperate I become and the less likely I am to receive it. I ponder to, maybe she feels betrayed. I wonder if she had a certain mental picture of what a husband should be like and when I did not fit that picture, the shutters went up.
We had her brother stay with us over the weekend. He knows we have been having marital issues. This morning he sat with the two of us and asked if we wanted to hear his take on what he observed over the weekend. We both agreed. He served it out to both of us. I had to suck up that I was not perfect. He had observed a conversation between my wife and I where I had walked out of the kitchen in the middle of the conversation and she had apparently just looked at the ceiling. I will make a conscious effort to ensure the conversation is finished before leaving in future. He though was able to tell her several things that I have felt. Like he pointed out that she being so busy was hurting the marriage. That she rejected others offers of help and then would be run ragged doing doing and doing. For example apparently one of our kids offered to help make lunch. After offering two or three times and being rejected she said that he could peel carrots. She then proceeded to get a carrot of the bag and peel it despite him asking repeatedly for the peeler and insisting that he can do it. (He's 14 BTW).
So I guess I feel there is a lot of tension at home and a lot of lightness in blogland.