I've said to my wife that:
- I am really enjoying her teasing me and not letting me cum.
- When I cum I would like it to be when she is turned on and wants me inside her.
Some time back I had told her that I had read about couples that practiced "NFP - Natural Family Planning" These people seem to be generally catholic and the jist is orgasm denial for the men. I had read several blogs and forums where the men were abstaining from orgasm pretty much continually. Anyway I reminded her that I had enjoyed reading these and was turned on and envious of the men who's women were actively ensuring and encouraging their abstinence and that they would, knowing orgasm was off the table, have to work hard on other ways to connect and be intimate.
I also told her that when I am denied I dream and think about her a lot.
I guess what I am trying to do is help her to help me. I guess we both need to enjoy things. There has to be a pay off for both of us.
So the pay off for her I think is space. Space and time to get turned on. I think she will see a "nicer me" as a pay off. So I guess I need to make sure all this is fun in a way.
I wonder what else could be a pay off for her. What she would like?