Monday, May 9, 2016

Not own way

Interesting to contemplate the Dom & sub roles and responsibilities.

Prompted by what was for me a disappointing sexual experience with my wife.  Sunday night we had a date night out for dinner.  We got home and fairly quickly sent the kids off to bed.  We were in bed together and she suggested sex with me inside her.  I suggested that I put on a couple of condoms so that I would not cum but she clarified that she wanted me to cum. 

Contrasting to that morning when we had had a long session of touching and stroking but no orgasm and was for me a really good experience, this was a bit of a downer.
Pretty much no foreplay.
She insisting I go inside her.  But not aroused.
When I was in, she was on the bottom (does not seem right)
When I was in, she was having me hold my self up off her because her tummy was full.
I suggested we roll over so she was on top.  We did that for about a minute then she said roll back when I'm ready.
So here we are
She's not turned on.
She's not into it because her tummy is [over] full.
I would rather the tease and denial.
And I think she thinks she is doing me a favour.

So I cum.
That gets that over with.

So I'm lying in bed turning over in my mind.

I have done what she asked.  If we are doing roles then I did my role.
I did what she asked.

I guess the sad thing for me was that I did not feel listened to.  I was excited about the idea of pushing the duration of abstention.  I was excited about the time spent touching and titillation.  I also felt more positive and more confident and creative.  In fact more of everything all round.

Pondering the idealised roles of Dom and sub.
To me there is energy and effort required for both.

I think the Dom has to listen to what turns the sub on.  What is their love language.  During sexual activity the Dom needs to put effort in.  It may be effort tying up the sub or spanking the sub or whatever. 

But in general, the sub needs to be submitting to the Dom.  By this I mean that they comply with or do whatever the Dom asks or commands even if they don't like it. 

Maybe I have that wrong.

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