Sunday, May 22, 2016

Story writing - I wonder if it's any good

Thought I would have a go at writing.  It's not FLR more traditional sub female roles so feel free to ignore it.

I'm keen for feedback.  Edit or rewrite.  Just post a comment.

The jist of the story line is
Two girls flying from Australia to the UK for a 1 year holiday "Gap Year".
Similar names.
There is a mix up and they each go off with the people who were supposed to meet the other.
One was expecting a kink experience
The other was a bit of stuck up rich girl ends up in the kink environment.
The one looking for the kink experience ends up in a more lase fare arty group.

How long before each of them realises the mix up.
What about the reactions of those around them?
What happens when mix up is discovered? How do people react.

At 20 Jodie Alexis Smith sat fidgeting it seat 37D.  She was unsure whether she'd made the right decision.  Never quite fitting in completely.  Yes she had friends.  Straight friends.  no one with whom she could have entrusted her inner thoughts and feelings.  This coupled with moodiness and on and off again fighting with her mum had resulted in her turning to the internet for comfort. 

Eventually after wading past what seemed an insurmountable male oriented porn she had discovered a web site that seemed to resonate with her.  A retreat for people with kinky sexual desires was looking for a maid.  A one year internship.  Structure stability and clear rules appealed to her.  The threat of the cane or spanking was both titillating and frightening to her.
Unbeknownst to Jodie Alexis Smith of 37D fifteen rows in front of her was Jodie Sarah Alexis in 22A.  Precocious to the point of annoying her Mother and Father who had ensured Jodie had received an education at the best private girls school Sydney had to offer.  Jodie was what the casual observer would describe as a self absorbed stuck up rich girl.  At 19 Jodie had bombed out of her first year university course as a result of prioritising her social life above her study life. 

The time had come for her to "find herself" a gap year was proposed and with her parents help tickets purchased and arrangements made.  Jodie having lost interest in the detail had just gone along with it.  So now she found herself aboard the London bound 787.

As the plane pushed back from the gate, a hostess leaned over and spoke to her.  It took Jodie a few seconds to disengage her concentration from updating her facebook status by which time the hostess was repeating her name for the third time.  Finally Jodie managed to refocus her attention and smiled politely at the attendant.  Her good looks, smile and general positive attitude, unknownst to her, had  kept her at the top of the social ladder and "in" with a large circle of friends.  So quickly she was able to turn on the charm and respond the hostess with a smile.  The hostess frustration melted like so many before her and she handed over an A4 envelope with "Jodie Alexis" hand written across the front.  At the same time saying "This was left on your seat in the departure lounge"  Her phone was vibrating.  Each shiver represented a "like" and she was keen to check just how popular her departure was and so she smiled at the hostess, took the envelope and shoved it into the seat pocket in front of her.  Not recognising the envelope, her assumption was it was another attempt by her mother to organise her life.  Didn't her mother giver her any credit for anything.

40 hours later and Jodie Alexis Smith of 37D had distracted herself from her inner uncertainties and fidgeting with activity.  She'd completed all the puzzels and crosswords at the same time as working her way through as many of the movies in the catalogue as she could.  When she bored of the puzzles she'd read a few chapters her rather should we say 'alternative'  novel.  She was angry with herself for misplacing the envelope and hoping it was in her luggage although she was sure she'd had it with her.  The trip to the airport had been rather emotional with yet another screaming match with her mother who could not understand why she needed to go over seas.

Separated from the internet, Jodie Sarah Alexis of 22A had initially struck up a conversation with the middle aged man beside her who was more than willing to talk to the good looking and cheerful girl beside her.  Quickly tiring of that activity she too had read through the inflight magazine admiring the merchandise and reading the captions of the photos of exotic places.  Finally a few movies and drifting off to sleep.

Landing, clearing immigration and customs for both girls had gone smoothly with Jodie Sarah Alexis of 22A  emerging into the arrivals hall first.  She looked around to see who had come to greet her.  Somewhat deflated to discover no screaming crowd although one wonders why she might have ever expected that.  As she pulled her too large suitcase and looking around she saw a line of people, mostly men holding signs with names on them.  As she scanned she noticed some were printed on paper and some were names on I-pads.  She took a double take.  There was her name "Jodie Alexis".  White letters on a black background.  She widened her field of view.  Her name was on an I-pad held by a woman.  Thin.  beautiful.  Dressed all in black.  High heels, black tights and miniskirt and a black jacket. 

Having lived at the upper end of society, Jodie did not consider being met at all odd.  Trailing her suitcase she approached the girl and said "Hi.  I'm Jodie Alexis".  The girl's initial reaction in the form of a muffled intake of breath smiled and offered to take her suitcase.  The short journey from customs had reminded Jodie of the weight and she was more than happy for the girl to take it.

Jodie tagged along as the girl walked tall and purposefully to the pick up area.  As she walked, the girl pulled Jodie's suitcase with one hand and produced a mobile phone and placed a short call with the other.  They had barely reached the pickup zone when a Rolls-Royce glided to a stop in front of them.  The driver stowed the suitcase and the girl held the door for Jodie to enter.  As the car pulled away, Jodie asked the girl, who had hither to been silent if her mother had organised this.  The lady answered that "lady Elizabeth" had instructed the pickup. 

<More conversation as the car drives -- needed here>

Jodie Alexis Smith of 37D entered the arrivals hall just in time to miss the girl switch off her I-pad and turn away trailing Jodie Sarah Alexis' suitcase.  Jodie Smith began to wander around wondering what to do.  She had understood she was to be met but had no idea by whom.  Gradually all the other passengers from her flight dispersed either with friends or to find taxi's or trains to take them to their next destination.

Suddenly a overly effervescent woman approach her and said "Are you Jodie Alexis"? to which she replied yes.  "Sorry I'm late lets get going we have the parking man trying to get rid of us"  She started to stride off toward the outside at a great pace.  At the kerb was a van with the side door open.  Music coming out the door and two young girls chatting up the parking attendant resplendent in his orange safety vest.  As the lady and Jodie arrived they hoiked the suitcase into the van and climbed in.  The two girls shouted thanks and good by and climbed in as well.  The van pulling away with side door still open.  One of the occupants slid the door closed.  The music continued and brief introductions were made.  The clatter and enthusiasm was infectious.  Somewhere Jody was told that they were on the way to a party where two of them were in a band that playing.

No comments:

Post a Comment