My balls are aching. It has been two weeks. I am desperate for sex. I must be mad - this is what I wrote to my wife
Sunday night is approaching and I know you said that we might have sex then.
At this early stage, please do not give me sex for "relief" as I have indicated that just makes me feel small. I can't even light a flame in my wife.
Maybe down the track you will give me sex as a gift or a present without you yourself cuming, but right now, please just engage in sex if you want it. Please do not let me cum unless at the very least you are going to cum. But preferably cum first and even second. As many times as YOU want. Then and only then MAYBE let me cum. Either way I will be rewarded. If I am too pushy or I have not put the effort into getting the atmosphere right for YOU then please don't give it to me.
You may think I am mad and I probably am but I do not want to continue to be rewarded for weak behaviour on my part.
I would also like to talk to you about whipping me.
As I have said previously it is not like spanking a child. I chose something for you to hit me with that I would never hit a child with as I did not want there to be any connotation of parent - child type relationship. This is totally me asking you to help me modify my weak behaviours and there is a strength in that.
But I would ask that at some time, at time of your choosing that you whip me. Just tell me to lie down and you are going to whip me. How hard and how long and whether you tie me is up to you. But I want you to feel free to do that. I do not want to pressure you to do it and you don't have to do it more than once although you can if you wish. But I do want you to consider doing it please. It can be as a punishment for doing something or it can "just be". Please. be free.
The next thing is that after I have done you wrong. Shouted, lost my temper, not responded to you. And I ask you to whip me then please do that. It is intended to be a punishmnet. I really believe that corporal punishment can help to change behaviour. This is not something new to me. I want to put it into action.
But I want you to do more than that. I am putting down in writing, so that you will know that I am serious. I want you to tie me to the bed so I can not wimp out of it. Then I want you to whip me with all your strength. As if you were beating the dust out of a blanket. Please as hard as you can. Put every ounce of strength and do it as hard as you can. I know it will feel like your arm is heavy and someone has got you by the elbow and is restraining you but try as hard as youpossibly can. I know you are not a vindictive or grudge bearing person so this is not some kind of get back at me for the hurt I have caused but it is from my side a cathardic or symbolic hurdle that I wsh to. That I need to overcome.