Friday, December 3, 2010
Its 4am and I am wide awake. I have a hard on. I really really want sex. Six months ago, I would have woken her up and she would have given me sex but her sleeping through sex just did not do it for me. or her.
So here I am writing here to off load my thoughts.
She and I had a brief discussion last night and she said that as a teen she did not masturbate. A great discussion to have but disappointing in that it confirms that she has always had a low libido. I asked if she had done it for religious reasons and although that was part of it, it was only a small part.
I asked her what she thought about me being submissive and she said "it was what I [husband] wanted" we went on to discuss / confirm that she is doing things like making me abstain and whipping me because "that is was what I [husband] wanted".
I said its OK for you to be a bit selfish.
I also offered that we throw out all the short skirts that she has and go and buy pants. I used to make her wear mini skirts a lot and every pair of pants she has caused friction in the past. She said she liked her skirts but I think she will take up my offer to go shopping for some sports shorts.
The other day, I wrote her a list of everything I was giving up and she had read it. It is reposted here below so you can read it. I said that I would welcome her doing anything on that list to me. I said for example that I loved the message and the plastic sheet on the bed and that whenever she did this to please make sure she has explicitly instructed me not to cum. That I only want to cum in conjunction with her enjoying sex. I said I appreciate her giving me treats regarding acknowledging my kinky fetishes but that I really want the joy of sex to only be associated with her present.
I wonder what the world will be like in the future when women will be much more in control Will they be able to handle it. In my view their multi tasking and social people skills mean that they make great managers but sometimes with out rules they seem to go out of control. Through the best intentions they become ????
Like I sat on a plane the other day and across the isle were two women talking about how they control their daughters. They were so up front with each other about how they manipulate and control the daughters especially regarding boy friends. The daughters were 16 as I recall and from what ever age they started having boyfriends, the mothers would limit or encourage contact with the boyfriend depending on whether the mother liked the boyfriend or not. They were well motivated in that they wanted the best for their daughters but they sure were not willing to let the daughters have any freedom of choice. They admitted to organising holidays away from home to keep boyfriends away, to making the daughters do homework, "I keep her in her school uniform on week nights so she can't go out with him". And on the other hand when they approved of the boyfriends they would "drive the two of them to the movies" and we "took him to xyz for a week. such a lovely boy". So controlling. I loved listening in as you can imagine.
at 4:30 AM