Monday, December 6, 2010

She said He said

In response to my previous message she said
It's Sunday night.
Waiting for you to come home.
Hoping you've had a great day.
We'll see what happens ... : )
I did not get sex. We did not have sex. She did say she was tired and so we kissed and cuddled and she went to sleep

I wrote back

Hi Dear,

Right now there are two motivations, two drivers for me wanting sex.

1. The physical desire. The physical pressure within me. I am a guy and that is the way it is.

2. The desire I have that you are happy. In particular that you get to have great enjoyment.

The first thing is that as I think about it, what I want first is a way in my own mind to swap the order of these areound. I want to be in the mindset that puts your happyness first.

The next thing is that I suspect that I need to find a way to make your whole life happy. In as much as I influnece it anyway.

We didn't have sex last night and I appreciate that you were not turned on. I was not here until late and I guess that meant that there was not time. time to just be together. I appreciate that you did not just give me relief. Thankyou for being honest with your feelings. Thank you for having the strength to say no.

So I wait.

No! I need to do more. I need to proactivly change my behaviour. I need to do things so she is happy. Actually more than happy. So she is inspired.

I am asking for your help with ideas to turn her on. I am willing to do anything. So do not limit yourselves. What would she just love. What too should I do. It could be simple at home stuff right through to the special treats and presents.

Over to you guys on what I can do.


  1. here is an idea that helped me.

    Once per day, do something for her that she would like you to do, but without her asking you to do it. For instence, if it is spring, you can pick her some field flowers and vase them. Write a poem. Polish her shoes.

    I found for me this helped me "tune in" to things she likes as I did it over several months every day. Now, it kinda comes naturally to be thinking about things she likes.

  2. Hi Mr subservient-husband

    Great idea. It will force me to actually start to listen to what she wants and likes.

    You know, I always kick myself at Christmas time that I have to ask what she would like as a present.

  3. I do understand. Give it a try. I think you will see the time and effort you put into thinking about things she wants and like turns into you being able to tune-into those a lot easier in the future.