I suspect that I have this overwhelming desire for sex sex and more sex where sex includes all things kinky.
I are just past the 3 week mark in my 40 day abstinence for lent.
Actually feeling quite good about it. I know emotionally I swing. I guess that is the body's inbuilt desire to try to get us to breed. Perhaps that is why the global population exceeds 6 billion. So it will take a while to feel that not orgasms is OK and normal (read usual or the norm).
I am doing a fair bit of exercise. Well more than I have done for years and I think that is helping to make me feel good and divert some of the sexual pent up energy.
I am also finding that my wife is being more affectionate. Kissing, hugging.
She has been especially gentle / tender. I asked her if she was doing this to teach me that sex can be gentle. She denied it..... of course.
Last night we did some huging but a minimum of touching and interestingly I was and still am OK with that. She indulges me often by stroking my penis and then doing things like inflicting a bit of pain by digging her nails in or pichning a nipple. Perhaps I swap orgasmic release for pain as a source of physical enjoyment / stress relief. Anyway we were just gentle last night and I am OK with that. In a way I think this is a new thing for me. I know that Mr Subservient Husband talks about 'docile' and maybe I am beginning to get to that feeling or head space.
Gentle is her love language. By that I mean that her primary love languages are 'words of encouragement' and 'acts of service'. Physical touch is not really one of her love languages but when physical touch is involved for her it has to be gentle. So what I am taking from that is that I need to speak her love language that is and so gentle is what I need to do to her. On my side I would like rough but also in my submissive mindset I may have to accept gentle.
Reminds me of this:-
Masochist: "Hit me hit me"
On a more introspective note i read this blog that I felt quite sad
The author Anne describes herself as:
"I am a "normal" woman with kids and considered myself lucky to have a submisive husband who wants me to be as assertive and dominant with him as possible. At 47, I am 9 years his junior. We embraced cuckholding and a relationship developed between us and an older "Headmaster" who became my boyfriend.The Headmaster will provide the discipline for david and myself when I require that. We remain a couple outwardly but I look upon david simply as my bitch, my slave and personal house maid. She is penny and will remain penny for as long as she wishes. She may leave at any time but as long as she stays in my house she will be what she always said she wanted to be to me, nothing but a bitch, slave and maid.You have made your bed penny now live in it."
In the blog she describes that they have just divorced and she has partnered up with the "Head Master" where the head is the dominant one and Anne is the sub. David is pretty much out of the picture. The picture includes kids.
Somewhere in the blog I thought I read that she is really submissive to her new man in a way that she could never have been to the Ex - david. BTW do not get the idea any of them are unhappy. I understand david has a new dominant and of course Anne is now subbing to the 'head master'.
Now why am I writing all this (beside it being a slow news day) ?
Well as one would see from reading this blog, my wife really does not relish the dominant thing. Now she is not submissive to the extent that Anne is but still early in our marriage she did take a submissive role to a degree as a result of her (and my) christian beliefs. So we may have right now a sort of two subs together thing. yet at the same time she became controlling perhaps because I was not as dominany or stong enough.... In addition she wants me to lead in some degree in the bedroom.
So I guess in way she wants the man to be traditional.
That is submissive in terms of looking after the woman - opening doors.
And I would say submissive in terms of looking after her needs in bed and that is to be focussed on her and not just have a quickie and give up. Take my time. But she does want me to take the initiative.
In a way it is taking the initiative that is hard when my mind is turned on by being submissive. I want to be told what to do.
I read in
A lot of things that resonated for me in regards to both my submissive side and things that I tried to do early in our marraige when I was the more dominant partner and that did turn me on but so obviously did not turn her on that eventually I gave up on because she resisted resisted resisted.
Early on, I had her wear short skirts a lot. She had a reputation among our friends for wearing mini skirts and they all knew she did it for me even though at times she was very and i mean very emabarrassed to the point of tears.
Yet in the referenced article the sub in that case girl wants that control over her clothing and she also like me wants to be physically disciplined.
So we see how my particular life pans out......
This post is a good reminder for me as a man wanting FLR
But for most submissive men, this will not be enough, because, let's face it, this is not femdom, since there is no dominance. It isn't even an FLR, because she doesn't lead.
So what comes next?