Sunday, November 7, 2010

church leader

As I sat in Church this morning with my daughter by my side, I looked at the dais and I was so proud of my wife as she stood at the microphone leading the church in song. She does this so well. She is a natural.

Our church has a female paster too. I muse to my self in a day dreamy type of way that some churches are up tight about about the man - woman thing. Yet here we have a church where man and women are being lead and taught by women. Nothing to do with anything kinky just that they are good organisers and competent leaders.

In the bible it talks about being made in the image of God. But given the bible was written by men (inspired by God) and considering the propensity of our species for self promotion, it is fairy unlikely that the good Lord is him/her/it's self is blessed with genitals of any sort.

She then came and sat with me and that was great. Nothing like being associated with greatness.

Collection time came and she reached for her purse and pulled out a $50 note and then reached in and pulled out a second $50 note and said I thought we would give this to make up for last week. Now I am supposed to be focussing on God here but all I can think about is how she has taken the lead here. Firstly she made all the decisions but used the word WE. She chose to give $50 and then another $50. Money I earned. She spent in a way she chose.

Then she hopped up and sang a solo accompanied by the organist. I was thinking women leading and smiled as I realised that the organist was a male. The organ supporting the singing.

Now note that in saying this bit about the male organist and he is supporting. In a way this is submissive. But he is competent. She chose the song. He plays the tune. He has skill. Submission is not about loosing your mind.

At the end, one of the other guys comments to me about how competent my wife is and it just reinforces what I already know but it was nice to hear.


  1. Submanhub,
    My wife makes all of our social decisions. While I certainly am submissive, that seems normal around our circle of friends. She pretty much tells me where I have to be and when. If I want to do something, I usually ask her for permission and if it doesn't work for her, I will seek some time that does. On the other hand, my wife will just say "I'm going to the store" and then leave and I will take care of our kids or do errands.

  2. You are such a lucky man to have a loving yet Dominant Woman to lead You. congratulations and thanks for Your blog.

  3. It is the same thing with my Mistress. She makes the decisions on where we go, what we do, and how much money to spend.

    The only thing is that she dosen't like to pay the bill in restaurants. In her oppinion, reviewing the check, and adding the tip is men's work. However, before adding the tip, she tells me what percentage to calculate.

    One of the things I agree with is that it is neat to see your wife in leadership roles.

    One of things we noticed early on was that the more dominant Kathy became, the more submissive i became. It was like all those years together we were both hiding our true personalities.

    Like the other gentlemen commenting on this posting, I don't go any place without first asking permission. Where and when we go places is Kathy's decison. She tells me about it when she is ready.

    If I had advice for any young man geting married for the first time it would be for him to come diretly out and his tell his 'bride to be' that he would like her to be head of the house. Before they are even marreid a young man should start asking his 'wife to be's permission before going places or spending moeny. In this way they could both become accustomed to their new roles as a married couple. This is a topic Kathy started to do a posting on but never finished.



  4. Thanks guys for the comments.

    In my case coming out when we were first married would not have worked. We were both leaders. We had met at various church leadership events and we both were pretty up there in making things happen. There was this unwritten and un spoken thing that I should lead. That is some of the baggage that we as a couple have to overcome. I even spanked her a couple of times and she really hated it and saw it as abusive and so she is hesitant to physically punish me even though we have spoken about it. In fact if I had been more mature or experienced, we could have ended up with a male lead marriage as for the first few years, I was very demanding about what she wore and had her wearing short skirts all the time and she complied because of this idea that men should be HOH. But gradually things changed and I think she sort of resisted and resisted and gradually moved into a leadership position whereas I moved to a more consiously submissive position.

    Her leading the family sort of crept in. She is the natural organiser of the social calender. She is the natural people person. She keeps in touch with everyone. I just deal with people as needed if that makes sense.

  5. Beautiful post ! Its great to read about ordinary women being strong and powerful outside of the bedroom as well as inside of it.Too many blogs simply focus on the sexual aspects of "femdom". Thats why i generally just read 3-5 FLR blogs .Thier quality, and yours, make up for thier small number

  6. MR Submanhub
    On the subject of women being powerful leaders in society, have you thought about using that topic to your advantage?

    The Atlantic Monthly Magazine[an american news magazine]had its July edition have the headline "the end of men? how women are taking control of everything" The Economist magazine has also had many articles about how women are outperforming men acedemically ,ect.

    You and your wife seem like very educated people who discuss politics and current events at home.Why not subtly bring up one of those articles[ " I was just reading this magazine article. what do you think of it?"] And try to see what her opinion is on the idea of women becoming more dominant in society.

    You might even [jokingly or half-jokingly] ask her what your marriage would be like if woman were completly in charge of society and you had to do whatever she wanted. I would think that you could do this either jokingly or by professing a casual intellectual interest.

    You might be surprised [and possibly pleased or disapointed] by some of her answers. Obviously you might want to avoid words like "slave" or any mention of fetishes. You could even mention one of the articles when her female friends are over at your house.I have found that often women support and encourage each other to come out on top of men.Herfriends might motivate her to be more assertive in her answers.

    Even if you dont get the answers that you were hoping might get some insights into what your wife wants you to do to make your marriage a happy and lasting one.

    I am not married i dont claim to speak on any authority.This is just humble advice from me.You seem like a nice guy who wants a wife-led marriage.And judging how you seem to be supportiveof your wife in many matters , you seem to be heading to a successful wife-led marriage.
    I wish you luck.Andi hope my suggestion either helps you or helps give you an idea of your own

  7. Hi Bob,
    Great ideas. I suspect, well actually I know that my wife knows that I have fetishes. So I suspect that she would just see this whole thing as a fetish and in a way it is. Problem is she does not have a kinky bone in her body. Far to practical. I guess one of the reasons that I am continuing to go the extra mile in cleaning and what have you is to show her that there are some practical benefits to her in us having this kind of relationship.

    Actually that raises an interesting point worthy of a posting of its own some day and that is I think that some women do things from a practical or well motivated perspective that from the outside appears weird or fetish like but in fact not in any way motivated from a kink.

    The other thing is that I think that if you have no kinks, then it is almost impossible to understand someone who has a kink of any kind.

    Food for thought.

    Thanks Bob