Sunday, November 7, 2010

Decisions Decisions

There are some decision that I just do not like making.

On Friday, my wife sends me this email (names changed to protect the guilty)

Hello dear,
The [band] have their last Bris gig [date] at the[venue].
1pm or 8pm shows
Groups 10+ $$$(or $$$$ full price)
[eldest child 14yo] is interested and would like to bring some friends.
Last year [list of friends names], and others came too. [name] was supposed to come.
Mum & Dad may be interested.
Would you like to come?
What time?
How many tickets should I book?

I do not even want to think about such decision. Social calender is her domain.
I just want her to tell me that I am going to this event or I am looking after the kids.


  1. I just discovered your blog and I find it very fascinating. As the female in a unique FLR, I have struggled to understand my husband and find ways for us to meet each of our needs. I thoroughly appreciate the fact that you are sharing the male perspective. It is helpful to me.


  2. I don't know if it is too late and this event has passed, but this would be one approach to answering her email:


    This sounds great. You know how much I enjoy [band]. Last show of the season? I'd love to see them. Mum, Dad, [14 yo] and friends--sounds great. The more the merrier. Maybe with that many people the earlier show would be better, but I'll let you decide. Order up the tickets and charge to the MasterCard.

    What should I wear?

    Looking forward to will be fun.



  3. Dev's comment is excellent. From what I've read so far in your blog it is difficult for your wife to take charge and I'm beginning to doubt that she'll ever be the dominant partner you dream of. But, by validating her decision the way Dev suggested you give her the confidence to be more assertive in future.

  4. Hi devotedlvr & The Naked Husband,

    Thanks for posting. Your posts turn it to be a positive rather than a negative. Something I need to be as I tend to get hung up on the negative.

  5. You see this shows part of the problem many guys don't realize. When you want her to tell you what to do you are making her have to worry about it and women usually don't want to be mean and they feel that way when they boss you around. Wives usually want you to be able to take care of yourself. Wanting her to make all the decisions in the way you are going about it is like asking her to do all the thinking for you and many women don't want to do that.

    Also keep in mind that women don't want to feel like they are selfish bitches and that they are good wives so when they boss you around they can feel bad about themselves. If they feel that way then they will be mad at you for trying to force them into doing things that will make them feel bad about themselves.

    1. Thanks Anonymous,

      Not only most guys. This guy me in particular.

      Thanks for an insightful comment