Thursday, November 4, 2010

Submissive Sex

Last night we were lying in bed and nothing much was hapening. I was turned on (as always) and she was reading.

She said "would you like a quickie"

Now a teen boy may jump at a girl who offers raw sex. No strings attached. But right now, that just not do it for me.

I said "I enjoy it when you cum"

"I'm a slow oven" she says.

I said "We can take the time to warm you up"

She goes back to her reading and I feel frustrated. I want to talk. She just does not understand.

I say to no one in partuicular "Why should I have a quickie"

"you need it" she says. Otherwise you get grumpy.
and here I am developing that grumpy feeling. I can feel myself getting grumpy and I don't like it.

So I say in one long speach
"I don't need sexual release. I need intimacy, love, attention.
I get enjoyment from just getting you to cum.
I would like to take the time to get you turned on.
I get turned on by the idea of you controlling when I cum.
I would like to be able to hold off until you cum rather than just have release.
Release sounds so weak."
There ended the speach and I think she detected a note of frustration in my voice.

Off to sleep we both went.

In the morning, she got up and went to the toilet and came back to bed, locking the bedroom door on the way.
I am instantly awake. This is a good sign.
She climbed into bed.
She reached down under the covers and pulled off my boxers.
This is good. I am getting hard by the second.
She pulled off her panties and rolled on top of me and started to push herself on.
I asked if she would like some lube (we keep that for when she gives me a quickie. Shows how not turned on she often is).
She declines the lube and keeps rubbing and working her way on.
I am on my back.
She is on top.
I am so so close to cumming but I hold off.
She moves and moves and I am worrying two ways. That she wont cum at all and get frustrated and that I will loose control and cum.
Finally she cums and relaxes on top of me.
Ahh that was so nice I am thinking.

Then she says, "Roll me over and lets deal with you" (meaning me).
I said "Don't let me cum. Make me hold off".
She said "I am about to get my period. It will be a whole week"
I said "tease me"
she said "Its not worth it, you just get grumpy"
I said "tease me. Have some fun"
So she pulled off and rolled over.

And that my friends is how I started my day today.


  1. I totally understand your not wanting to orgasm...I sometimes go through that with my own wife, but one thing we submissive husbands need to do ASAP, is stop "topping from the bottom". For me, things got better when I stopped doing that. My 2 cents.

  2. Yes I realise that I am doing the topping from the bottom.

    I guess I am trying to get her to become more consious about being in charge and perhaps more confident in bed.

    But I agree I need to accept her leadership. I guess I want to show her that it can be more than just plain ordinary. Spice it up if you like

  3. sounds fun and maybe lead to more fun stuff too. Enjoy...

  4. Forget all this "topping from the bottom", what you are doing is trying to communicate. The problem you face like most men in your position is that your wife does not understand what it is you really would like, and you are finding it impossible to explain it to her.

    Tell me if I am wrong, but it sounds like your wife, in common with a lot of women, feel the need to give you a quickie to keep you atisfied and happy. What she fails to realise is that you would actually prefer it if she would satisfy her own sexual needs, have you give her an orgasm, but ket you aroused teased but denied. By doing so, you would actually be less frustrated but she doesn't yet understand that you have changed from the man you were before.

    Somehow you need to explian this to her, make her understand that you want to submit to her, to have her in control and that you would prefer it if sometimes she tease and arouse you but make you wait.

  5. Submanhub,
    I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship but there is some value to what at all times has said regarding communication. I had a "talk" with my wife about my submissive desires and she was accepting. I think she was confused and it has been a slow process with lots of ups and downs.

    That sounded like an erotic experience for you. I recognize that there is a paradox: I love orgasms, but I also love her to control me. The hottest experience we've had was when she tied me up, and sat over my face for cunnilingus. She had a terrific orgasm. She untied me, possibly had another orgasm, and then said it was time for bed.

    We will have some outstanding play time and then "put it away" for a while. She has never let me do that a second time, even though I have repeatedly told her how much I loved it. I really don't understand other than she may have a sense of guilt. There are times when she is "into it" - we have had a couple of times where she has had 6 or 7 orgasms and none for me - and times where she is uninterested.


  6. Hi "At all Times" and "lovetosubmit"

    yes yes yes.

    Communication. How to do it. Frrrrussstrrrraaatttinnng. Women. Cant live with em cant live without em.

    "I recognize that there is a paradox: I love orgasms, but I also love her to control me."
    This is something she does not get.

    "a lot of women, feel the need to give you a quickie to keep you atisfied and happy"
    And she is thinking she is doing me a favour. What guy would not jump at a woman offering sex. No strings attached. Well me for starters. But she does not get that.

    Thanks guys for writing

  7. Submanhub said it pretty clear. Your wife will NOT know exactly what you want if you continue to "beat around the bush". You need to talk to her and explain what you want.

    As far as the "quickie" is concerned, this is what she has learned from her Jr. High school days and until you explain or maybe suggest she read some literature that you convenietly provide, she seriously will have no clue. Maybe leave your computer on a page like this one???