Here is an interesting article by James May of Top Gear fame.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/31/james-may-diy
I was taken by these paragraphs
"I sense a change in the national mood: men don't want to be hopeless any more, and women – well, they are fed up with the notion of beer-swilling blokes who just watch the football all afternoon. They don't want us to be useless: they want us to have a bit more clout and be a bit more dependable."
I agree. Women want men to be strong, competent and dependable.
The article in its self does not deal with the idea of men being submissive but it does point out that men are good at tinkering. Single minded task oriented and not so social.
To me this dovetails nicely with women who are social, multi tasking and often have a more rational overview of relationships and life in general.
So as a man, I enjoy the tinkering, the DIY, the practical stuff. I have no desire to be hopeless. To me being submissive does not equate to being incompetent or wimpy.
I am happy to leave the socialisation and organising the social calender to my wife. When she decides then I implement. If the tap is leaking, then I fix it. If the car needs servicing, then I take care of it. I would like to take it further. She needs a drink, I fetch it. She wants a foot massage, I oblige.
Could work for both of us.
And what I would like is that if I am very good then I get sex
If I am just OK then nothing hapens. (certainly not sex)
And if I am bad I would like there to be a punishment. In may case I have fanticised about her whipping me.
We will see.
Great points. I think that one reason that some women are wary of the concept of Wife led Marriages is that they suspect that thier husabnd might be using it as a cop out to get out of being responsible.And they want to be his wife and not his "mommy ".
ReplyDeleteI cant advise you in regards to your own marriage sincei am unmarried.But i think that you are correct in that a man can become more responsible by being more submissive.If you are trying to convince your wife to lead the marriage i would think that you would want to stress to her that you hold that viewpoint.That you want to step up and take resonsibility as a man instead of stepping down and running away from it.
That you want to be a grown man that does housework for his wife instead of a boy who has it done for him.And that you want to be her STRONG and DEPENDABLE servant.And not a helpless male who cant cook or get off the sofa to get his own beer.
Too many men think that they are being macho by sitting around on the sofa.But they arent. I grew up in a working class household.And i was raised to believe that a man should be useful around the house. i work in construction as a carpenter.and a lot of my co-workers have no problem with doing the housework for thier wives and letting them be the boss.
A lot of thier wives outearn them But mostly its because none will question the masculinity of a guy who swings a pickaxe or sledge hammer all day long.
They realise that they comeoff more manly by doing housework,ect.Then if they acted like sullen teenagers at home
BTW, I enjoy reading your blog.Thanks for taking the time to maintain it