Well I had comitted myself by writing my last posting to go and buy my wife some Pyjamas with pants so today at lunch time, I took off from work and went to the local shopping mall.
The reality of the situation hit me when I realised that in the department store, the pyjamas are along side of womens underwear so I walk briskly past as if I am going somewhere else all the while looking for pyjamas. Then having not seen any, I swallowed my pride and fear of being arrested for staring at women's underware and went and browsed until I found some. Then knowing she would not want one with a disney figure on it (and yes I was in the womens not girls section), I eventually found two sets. One is a cotton tee shirt with some short shorts and the other more concervative with a button up top and knee length shorts.
Now they are in my car and the next thing is what to do next. Hmm. I will think on that.
The other thing that was interesting is that it is a long time since I have gone this long without sex. You may have read that I do not belive in masturbation. My wife though felt that she was doing the right thing by not only letting me have sex whenever I wanted it but ancouraging me to have sex as "relief". This would just make me feel weak but from her point of view, if I did not get sex then I got grumpy. Well its been almost a week and I have gotten grumpy a few times (as you have seen) but I have tried hard and so now almost a week into abstinance, I find my self with some interesting feelings.
The first is that I am thinking of her all the time. How is she going?, what is she doing? is she happy? I am looking forward to seeing her.
The next thing is the occasional wave of self doubt. Will I be able to do it. A sort of gee I had better use it or loose the ability if that makes sense. Its a weird feeling actually.
In the morning especially I am rock hard ready to go and in fact this morning, I found myself groping her so I took myself out of bed and did a few things. This also was to protect myself against wishing her to get interested in sex and by some miracle ask me for sex. She is rarely a sex in the morning person and with me having talked to her about abstinance and wanting to please her, she would, if I had tried to have had sex with her, she would have let me do it and then next time I talked about being submissive then she would have said something like sure until you want sex again. Maybe she would have told me to go have a cold shower. I would have liked her to do that but I did not want to push it or to test her like that even though it would have been great.
It is funny how uncomfortable we men are in the women's section but there are usually more women than men in the men's underwear section. Hope she liked them!
ReplyDeleteMr. SMH,
ReplyDeleteWow, great post. A lot of honesty. I find just putting things into the blog helps think through them as the thoughts go into writing. You seem to be getting really good at it.
As to sex and abstinence, I think your fear of use-it or loose-it is just your body’s way of getting you to decide to go ahead.
As far as the masturbation goes, glad you have not turned on that switch. I had masturbated routinely and now need the chastity device to stay chaste. I too find my thoughts are often around my wife through the day. Also, I find after three weeks of chastity I do not try to manipulate things that I want into happening. I am much more content in my submissive role.
-SH
Hi SMH,
ReplyDeleteI think it is very nice of you to buy your wife a present. That is a kind thing to do. However, it is telling that you opted to buy her pajamas. In your previous post, you related how you had always expected her to wear nighties and skimpy baby dolls. And while you are now buying her pjs with pants, to demonstrate your change in attitude you are still...determining what sort of pjs she will wear. That doesn't sound so submissive to me! What if she hates pajamas with pants? What if she has a certain kind of fabric she prefers? What if she wants to sleep nude and not wear any pajamas at all?
The submissive husband anticipates his wife's needs/desires then works to meet those needs. If you don't know what they are, then you need to find out. I think you made some assumptions about what she wants to wear to sleep in, rather than determining her needs. The latter would have been a more submissive approach, IMHO.
D
Hi devotedlvr,
ReplyDeleteI had not thought of it this way before.
Good point.
Hi subservient-husband,
I guess as a christian, even as a teen I had believed that masturbation was sinful as described in detail in my posting. So I had tried really really hard to abstain and consequently had to deal with wet dreams. A lot. I know my wife does not believe in masturbation so there is that feeling that if I were to engage in it, that I would disappoint her so in a way I am driven by not wanting to disappoint her. I also know that if I were to ask, she would let me have sex. I have told her that I want her to be happy and that I believe (because I do believe) that God gave men this sex drive so that they would be attentive to their wives. This though resulted in one stage in a comment she made that she "felt pressured to perform". So I have reiterated that I do not need "relief" and that I want her to take the lead in the bedroom and that I would like to use my sexual energy to create the mood. So I am not going to ask for sex.